Girlracer was allocated one of the biggest stands just behind the main arena with around 25 motors on show at different stages of modification, with the star of the show and centre stage being Sassy’s fab Honda Civic with its amazing dragon scene paint work which pulled in the crowds. When it also started to attract the attention of wannabe glamour models in aluminous pink nothing-left-to-the-imagination underwear for a staged lesbo photo shoot - much to the delight of passing guys with camera phones - me, Rach and Gail decided to severely take the mick. Gail chose to be the passive one laying on her back on the grass whilst Rach pretended to get on top for a pose, to huge cheers and a round of applause from neighbouring stands! You show em’ how it’s done girlies, Girlracer stylie!

Feel sorry for poor Jonathan (Slomo) who had a blowout on the way to Donny South in his Volvo, but still managed to limp his way to the show and Ade who toasted his head gasket in his newly purchased early example Mitsubishi Evo. It’s okay Ade, I won’t reveal the speed you were going to muller your engine!

In the main arena nutter Russ Swift stumped the crowd first of all by driving gracefully for a couple of laps in a rally Mitsubishi Evo as if he was going for a Sunday afternoon drive. He then looked at the crowd with a humungous grin on his face and with a mental rubber burning wheel spin, floored the Evo straight into ridiculously fast donuts and handbrake turns. He’s such a big kid! Russ also demonstrated the best way to parallel park a BMW Mini into tight spots and drove around the arena on two wheels. Total respect.

Then there was the Kangaroo Kid who entertained the crowds in the arena on his specially adapted quad bike by pulling out from the arena audience four girls with the tiniest mini skirts and whitest boots. Follow me on this one, we were in Essex. Unfortunately for them they were required to sit on the quad bike squashed together whilst badly flashing their knickers! Kangaroo Kid then introduced them one by one to the crowd by the colour of their thongs. Nice. His finale of jumping over cars on the quad bike was spectacular – minus his glamorous mini skirted assistants.

Me and Gail watched some impressive street and break dancing on Ripspeed’s centre stage – actually we were secretly eyeing up the fit dancers – which followed on with the Ripspeed girls coming out to entertain the lads doing the same dance routine as in the music ‘aerobics work out’ video to Eric Prydz ‘call on me’. Me and Gail decided at this point to play a game of guess which girls have fake boobs. Well we couldn’t help but notice as they kept bending forward! Yes, we are ever so mature.

Either side of the huge centre stage Ripspeed had on display its suped up Corsa SRI – which has already been featured here on GR – and also its Focus, both of which had been previously modified with mega installs by Halford’s Tonbridge Ripspeed crew.

The most impressive show cars of the day were in their own allocated special corner with specimens including a slammed to the floor head turning Lotus, gawjusly spray painted black Pug 106 GTI and the maxed up car that always wins trophies – the bronze Nissan Almera with its crazy 23½ carat gold engine.

The afternoon became a total washout thanks to a massive horrendous rainstorm that saw plenty of us diving for cover under the Girlracer marquee and holding it down in something resembling a mini cyclone. How smug was I though to see the wannabe glamour models running around screaming in the rain as their fake tans streaked down their legs.

To keep the soggy GR crew entertained in between the heavy showers, Andy threw me over his shoulder and ran around the stand. Once I escaped and got back to base camp slightly ill composed, Tiny sneaked up behind me and pulled up my top for a cheeky ‘let’s flash Sezza’s bra at Stu’s camera!’ shot. Cheers Tiny! I think this lowering the tone behaviour was due to everyone being on a sugar rush high from the E-numbers in the free sweets we ate!

Thanks to Stu and Tiny for the brilliant stand yet again and for organising us all. To see Gail and Rach’s next exclusive impressions of wannabe glamour models, (autographs are extra), get your tickets now for Trax and see you there!

Sezza